Why did God create economists?
Ans: In order to make weather forecasters look good.

There are two kinds of economic forecasters: Those that don't know ... and those who don't know they don't know.

An economist is someone who would use a barrel of todays $40 oil to produce for tomorrow a half barrel of $120 oil for the profit.

The first law of economics: For every economist, there is an equal and opposite economist.
The second law of economics: They are both wrong.

How many economists does it take to change a light bulb? 5. One to hold the bulb and four to turn the ladder.

Economists are well balanced. They have a chip on both shoulders. Economists are level headed. They dribble from both sides of the mouth.

More on the changing of light bulbs. How many academic economists does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: Three: One to assume the existence of the light bulb, one to assume the existence of the ladder, and one to change the bulb.

What do you call 250 economists at the bottom of the sea?

Answer: A good start.

How many economists does it take to change a light bulb? None, There is no need to change the light bulb. All the conditions for illumination are in place.

Do you know how the economist made a small fortune on the stock market? He started with a large fortune.

Can we really get economists to change light bulbs? Given 1000 economists, there will be 10 theoretical economists with different theories on how to change the light bulbs and 990 empirical economists labouring to determine which theory is the correct one, so of course everyone will still be in the dark.

What do economists use for contraception?
Answer: Their personality.

What is black and tan and looks good on an economist?
Answer: A Rotweiller.

Why is a "nonsense" of economists like a shipload of bananas? Answer: They are green and there is not a straight one among them.

From the Governor of the Bank of England, Eddie George: There are three kinds of economists: those who can count and those who cannot.

"I'm thinking of leaving my husband" complained the economist's wife. "All he ever does is stand at the end of the bed and tell me how good things are going to be".

Two economists went to a restaurant for lunch. "Never mind the food" one said to the waitress, "just bring us the bill so we can argue about it."

The poor chap was complaining that he had failed his exam in economics. "Never mind", he was told, "just sit it again next year, your answers could turn out to be correct by then".

We hope that you know that in New Zealand's Treasury, only 10 minutes is allowed for morning tea. Otherwise they would have to retrain all the economists.

Did you know, there is a new version of Trivial Pursuits available for economists: It has 100 questions and 2500 answers.

If it is green or wiggles, it is biology; if it stinks, it is chemistry; if it does not work, it is engineering; if it is green and wiggles and stinks and still does not work, it is economics.

How many economists does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: Eight. One to screw it in, and seven to hold everything constant.

What's the difference between mathematics and economics?
Ans: Mathematics is incomprehensible, economics just doesn't make any sense.

We are still searching to find out how many economists does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: None. The darkness will cause the light bulb to change itself.

What is the difference between sperm and a nonsense of economists?
Answer: A sperm has one chance in 500,000 of becoming a human being.

What is the difference between an economists and an old man with Alzheimers?
Ans: The economist is the one with the calculator.

What do you call a big pile of shit with a 40 cent stamp on it?
Answer: An economic package.

THE LIGHTBULB PROBLEM. How many economists does it take to change a light bulb?
Answers previously given have been disputed by a reader. He says that an economist would not be mentally or physically able to change a light bulb, but would contract it out to the biggest and most expensive group of accountants to be found.

Another answer: None, they're all waiting for the unseen hand of the market to correct the lighting disequilibrium.